Top 66 Quotes by Elayne Boosler

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.

You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long you will live. No surprise, turning first to the Comics Pages prolongs your life.

I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.

I'd much rather see Richard Pryor or Jackie Mason in a theater than in a club.

We have wild animals in zoos, yet people rarely meet their 'food' face to face.