Top 59 Quotes by David Sedaris

My sister Tiffany told me years ago, 'You can never write about me.' Then she called six months ago and said she wanted to be in a story. She was worried people thought I didn't like her.

I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting.

If you read somebody's diary, you get what you deserve.

I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had to force myself. Then it became part of my identity, and I did it without thinking.

I don't have email.

I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you.

I guess my guilty pleasure would be listening to the British audio versions of the 'Harry Potter' books.

But I don't distinguish between being laughed with, and laughed at. I'll take either.

But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.

There are lots of things that happen to me that I don't write about.