If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry. Dave Barry concerncutefurry Change image and share on social
In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps. Dave Barry actamericanapparently Change image and share on social
The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. Dave Barry eyeballfeaturelessfin Change image and share on social
Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print. Dave Barry borefindhobby Change image and share on social
Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around. Dave Barry airwavehuntsmut Change image and share on social
We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires. Dave Barry billcompanyelectric Change image and share on social
We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth. Dave Barry beatlesdayidolize Change image and share on social
It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin. Dave Barry biologicalcelldirection share on social
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. Dave Barry accidentcontributefactor Change image and share on social
There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary. Dave Barry abridgebreeddictionary Change image and share on social