Top 83 Quotes by Dave Barry

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.

I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.