Dave Barry

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

For us tall people, the whole key is that your hips and your knees should form a right angle when you sit down. That's where backs and hips get to be problems for big guys.

I had pretty much raised my kids and my first wife and I were divorced, so I began, in earnest, to start my musical career again. Going for the big record deal and all of that.

I think when judges are in the position of authority, they really get bent out of shape when someone tells them they acted inappropriately.