Standup is a form of therapy. It is OK to tell problems to your audience as long as you are being honest and not boring them. I tell them that I am saving $75 an hour when I talk to them instead of a therapist. Bill Engvall audienceboreform share on social
When 'Blue Collar TV' was on the 'WB,' we were their second-highest rated show, but they didn't know what to do with us. They had 'Reba,' which was number one, and we were number two, and they didn't want to be known as the hayseed network, so they kind of dropped us, even though we were pulling great numbers. Bill Engvall bluecollardrop share on social
I can't count the number of times I've been sound asleep, woke up, and I was doing my hair. Bill Engvall asleepcounthair Change image and share on social
I learned that you don't take dishes from the table to the dishwasher; you have to rinse them first. I think that's stupid because I don't go out in the back yard and hose off before taking a shower. Bill Engvall backdishdishwasher Change image and share on social
Now people live into their 90s and beyond. As long as I have quality of life, I'm good. Bill Engvall 90sgoodlife Change image and share on social
I think you can ban guns if you can just pull the trigger and 60 bullets fire out. Bill Engvall banbulletfire Change image and share on social
I've never said I was the best dancer, and I never said I was a good dancer. Bill Engvall dancergoodhave Change image and share on social
My goal is for 'The Bill Engvall Show' to be a show the networks look at and say, 'Ooh, maybe we should get back to the family sitcom.' Bill Engvall backbillengvall Change image and share on social
I hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that just say, 'I'm stupid.' Bill Engvall hatepeoplesign Change image and share on social
I'm a California Angels fan because that's the first game my dad took me to see, and they stuck with me. Bill Engvall angelcaliforniadad Change image and share on social