I can't count the number of times I've been sound asleep, woke up, and I was doing my hair. Bill Engvall asleepcounthair Change image and share on social
Now people live into their 90s and beyond. As long as I have quality of life, I'm good. Bill Engvall 90sgoodlife Change image and share on social
I'm from Texas. You would think my biggest draw would be in that state. But my biggest draw is Pennsylvania. Bill Engvall bigdrawpennsylvania Change image and share on social
I hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that just say, 'I'm stupid.' Bill Engvall hatepeoplesign Change image and share on social
I came out of the mall one day, and a guy was standing there with a coat hanger in his window, and I couldn't stop myself. I asked the stupid question. 'You lock your keys in the car?' 'Nope, just washed it, gonna hang it up to dry.' Bill Engvall askcarcoat share on social
When 'Blue Collar TV' was on the 'WB,' we were their second-highest rated show, but they didn't know what to do with us. They had 'Reba,' which was number one, and we were number two, and they didn't want to be known as the hayseed network, so they kind of dropped us, even though we were pulling great numbers. Bill Engvall bluecollardrop share on social
If you watch the 'Blue Collar Tour,' I was probably the least redneck of everybody. Bill Engvall bluecollarredneck Change image and share on social
Left to my own vices, all I would own is a Corvette, and it would be broken down. Bill Engvall breakcorvetteleave Change image and share on social
I have been passed over on some things because people didn't think I was edgy enough. But the people who took those gigs are gone now, and I am still here. Bill Engvall edgygigpass Change image and share on social