When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around in a quitter. Stephen Colbert buycarquitter Change image and share on social
We are thrilled that Jon Batiste is joining 'The Late Show' family of products. For my money, nobody plays like Jon Batiste. And you can trust me, because it is my money. Stephen Colbert batistefamilyjoin Change image and share on social
I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions. Stephen Colbert actorblowhate Change image and share on social
I have a mug that actually verifies that I'm the world's best dad. That's a mug. That's not me talking. You can't just buy those. Stephen Colbert buydadmug Change image and share on social
I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes. Stephen Colbert affectjokelaugh Change image and share on social
Use the word 'zeitgeist' as often as possible. Ideally, you want to find words that sound familiar but people don't really know their definitions: 'zeitgeist,' 'bildungsroman,' 'doppelganger' - better yet, anything Latin. But avoid 'paradigm.' It's so 1994. If you say the word 'paradigm,' everybody knows you're a poser. Stephen Colbert avoidbildungsromandefinition share on social
I'm not just a pundit - I'm a comedian. Stephen Colbert comedianpundit Change image and share on social
I like being boring to a certain extent. I don't have to be flashy. I get to put all of that into a show, and when it's over, I don't have to be that. Stephen Colbert boreextentflashy Change image and share on social
I love 'Sunday in the Park with George.' I saw that when I was just, just starting theater school, and I remember singing 'Finishing the Hat' or at least reading the lyrics to 'Finishing the Hat' and other songs from 'Sunday in the Park with George' to my mom to try to explain why I wanted to be an artist. Stephen Colbert artistexplainfinish share on social
Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls? Stephen Colbert agnosticatheistball Change image and share on social