If I had free time to go to Los Angeles to shoot a movie, I would rather spend it with my kids. Stephen Colbert angelesfreekid Change image and share on social
I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host. Stephen Colbert accuseexecutivehave Change image and share on social
There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell. Stephen Colbert friendgayhell Change image and share on social
I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it's more than that. It's an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids. Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche and then applies an antibiotic cream. You gotta keep it away from your eyes. Stephen Colbert antibioticapplybring share on social
The trouble with the jokes is that once they're written, I know how they're supposed to work, and all I can do is not hit them. I'm more comfortable improvising. If I have just two or three ideas and I know how the character feels, what the character wants, everything in between is like trapeze work. Stephen Colbert charactercomfortablefelt share on social
Late-night shows are 'Chopped.' Who are your guests tonight? Your guests tonight are veal tongue, coffee grounds and gummy bears. There, make a show ... Make an appetizer that appeals to millions of people. That's what I like. How could you possibly do it? Oh, you bring in your own flavors. Your own house band is another flavor. Stephen Colbert appealappetizerband share on social
I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express. Stephen Colbert acceptamericanexpress Change image and share on social
Don't be afraid to make things up. Never fear being exposed as a fraud. Experts make things up all the time. They're qualified to. Stephen Colbert afraidexpertexpose Change image and share on social
I like to do things that are publicly embarrassing, to feel the embarrassment touch me and sink into me and then be gone. I like getting on elevators and singing too loudly in that small space. The feeling you feel is almost like a vapor. The discomfort and the wishing that it would end that comes around you. Stephen Colbert discomfortelevatorembarrass share on social
I have a morality. I don't know if it's the best morality. And I do like thinking. If people perceive that as a moral intellectualism, that's fine. That's up to them to decide. Stephen Colbert decidefineintellectualism Change image and share on social