Ultimately I'm the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I'm pretty good at helping them get there. Ron White anytimebitecall Change image and share on social
Donald Trump - and I don't dislike Donald one single bit - has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels. Ron White bitebuilddislike Change image and share on social
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper. Ron White attentionbraindeficit share on social
When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable - onstage, talking, making 'em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention. Ron White attentioncentercomfortable Change image and share on social
I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em. Ron White cigarcollectiongreat Change image and share on social
When I was a kid, mostly I played in a ditch that didn't have much water in it. It was for drainage purposes. There was not a lot trouble to get into in that ditch. It was ditch activities like catching crawdads and minnows. Ron White activitycatchcrawdad share on social
As a small child, I could watch anything happen and tell a story, and it was funny. Ron White childfunnyhappen Change image and share on social
Don't bring your kids to my show, and I won't come to your house and cuss. Ron White bringcusshouse Change image and share on social
My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy. Ron White bigcablecomedian Change image and share on social
