Top 37 Quotes by Robert Benchley

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.