Top 37 Quotes by Robert Benchley

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.