Top 37 Quotes by Robert Benchley

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.

There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that.

At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.