Top 37 Quotes by Robert Benchley

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands.

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.