Robert Benchley

The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings.

I have a dog named Steve that lives at the studio.

Peace demands the most heroic labor and the most difficult sacrifice. It demands greater heroism than war. It demands greater fidelity to the truth and a much more perfect purity of conscience.

My first career ambitions involved turning into a boy; I intended to be either a railway guard or a knight errant.