When you put an album out, you can't do any material from the album if people are paying to see you. Patton Oswalt albummaterialpay Change image and share on social
Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term. Patton Oswalt choosedeepdude Change image and share on social
There's all kinds of those moments in your life where either through a weird set of circumstances, or a song you hear, or a smell you smell, or one person says something totally out of the context without the meaning that you assigned to it, but you snap back to the way you were when you were 14 or 15. We all deal with that. Patton Oswalt assignbackcircumstance share on social
All the truly great stand-ups say, 'I go onstage, and I work on jokes. The inspiration will happen while I'm doing my work.' To me, in the end, the surest thing is work. Patton Oswalt endgreathappen Change image and share on social
Having enough money has to go hand in hand with living in a way that you're not being a slave to your possessions. Patton Oswalt handlivemoney Change image and share on social
I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck. Patton Oswalt bugbunnydaffy Change image and share on social
Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire jokes and up each other, and I thought, 'This is where I wanna be.' Patton Oswalt backbantcomedian Change image and share on social
I grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against. Patton Oswalt featurelessgrowpersonality Change image and share on social
I really had to imagine the kind of person that I would have been if I had never left my hometown. I don't think I would have been a very pleasant person. Patton Oswalt hometownimaginekind Change image and share on social
You know, in Los Angeles, you're constantly in your car, you're sealed up, you're not walking around. Whereas in New York, after a while, all your stuff is kind of public, in one way or the other. I'm not saying either one of those is bad; they're both great for a very specific kind of comedian. And I'm glad that they both exist. Patton Oswalt angelesbadcar share on social