Top 77 Quotes by Patton Oswalt

About Patton Oswalt

These are some quotes by American author Patton Oswalt Comedian, who was born on January 27, 1969.

I know how my body operates differently from what it did when it was 30 and when it was 20. As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions.

I know how my body operates differently from what it did when it was 30 and when it was 20. As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions.

Patton Oswalt

I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We'll see.

I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We'll see.

Patton Oswalt

If you actually do cold readings, it's very close to how people actually talk, because you're experiencing these thoughts anew every moment, and trying to make them come out coherently.

If you actually do cold readings, it's very close to how people actually talk, because you're experiencing these thoughts anew every moment, and trying to make them come out coherently.

Patton Oswalt

I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything.

I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything.

Patton Oswalt

Every audience is different, even within the same venue. You have to just make every audience your audience; you can't pre-judge an audience based on the size of the room or the type of room. You've just got to be in the moment and go with it.

Patton Oswalt

Here's what I'm afraid of. I know a lot of comedians, friends of mine, who just got into the 'Doesn't matter what I say. It doesn't matter. They're just gonna laugh anyway.'

Here's what I'm afraid of. I know a lot of comedians, friends of mine, who just got into the 'Doesn't matter what I say. It doesn't matter. They're just gonna laugh anyway.'

Patton Oswalt

I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day.

I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day.

Patton Oswalt

If Kevin James or Paul Giamatti drop weight, I'm done. I don't want to be the last pudge out there.

If Kevin James or Paul Giamatti drop weight, I'm done. I don't want to be the last pudge out there.

Patton Oswalt

Knock on wood, my groupies tend to be very artistic, creative people - sometimes way more creative than I am.

Knock on wood, my groupies tend to be very artistic, creative people - sometimes way more creative than I am.

Patton Oswalt

Wars are usually really popular with people that aren't gonna be affected by them. 'Cause it's just entertainment, and it's just weird, like, 'Well, we've got to show the world that we're strong.' No we don't. And by the way, that has nothing to do with you. Why are you equating yourself with that... you know what I mean?

Patton Oswalt

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