P. J. O'Rourke

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt sorry about it.

Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world.

A free life cannot acquire many possessions, because this is not easy to do without servility to mobs or monarchs.

Baseball is a game of race, creed, and color. The race is to first base. The creed is the rules of the game. The color? Well, the home team wears white uniforms, and the visiting team wears gray.

I was depressed as a child. I found it hard to make friends. My favourite thing was locking myself in the bathroom and practising comedy routines.