The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, 'Mother, don't just stand there in the rain. Go home.' Les Dawson absolutelydoorhome Change image and share on social
I know my name will always be linked with women. Les Dawson linkwoman Change image and share on social
How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing. Les Dawson analysefunnypersonal Change image and share on social
I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps. Les Dawson comelawmother Change image and share on social
The wife's run off with the bloke next door. I do miss him. Les Dawson blokedoormis Change image and share on social
The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig. Les Dawson accidentdrawerdrop Change image and share on social
My mother-in-law said, 'One day I will dance on your grave.' I said 'I hope you do; I will be buried at sea.' Les Dawson burydanceday Change image and share on social
I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me. Les Dawson asthmadiscovergod Change image and share on social
When I was a child, I had wax in my ears. Dad didn't take me to the doctor, he used me as a night light. Les Dawson childdaddoctor Change image and share on social
I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it. Les Dawson badcancelfuneral Change image and share on social
