The wife's run off with the bloke next door. I do miss him. Download Download Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Rotate quotes bloke door mis
I went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.' Les Dawson doctorpillsleep Change image and share on social
I'm the most unromantic lump of Northern suet. Yes, a woman did accost me once in South Shields, but she had a face like Red Rum. Les Dawson accostfacelump Change image and share on social
My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects. Les Dawson objectsextime Change image and share on social
I like to get home, flop on the couch, and watch Sky Sports News. I'm just your average bloke. Alfie Allen averageblokecouch Change image and share on social
The closer I get to retirement, the more I feel it will be a huge change, a shock, because athletics has been the core of my whole life. I know I'll miss the feeling of running fast, the adrenaline rush, and hearing the crowd cheering me on. Jessica Ennis-Hill adrenalineathleticchange share on social
At one point, my house was a school for autistic children. I opened up my doors to about 30 kids and their families at the time. I was turning into Mary Poppins because I had to do something for these kids who have nowhere to go. So my house was the school for two years. Jenny McCarthy autisticchilddoor share on social
