Kinky Friedman

Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.

You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

Women ought to be fully guarded by law in all rights of property, labor, profession, etc.; but, roughly stated, the voting population ought to represent the fighting population.

It's easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you're a winner, when you're number one. What you got to have is faith and discipline when you're not a winner.