I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery. Joan Rivers plasticsurgerytwin Change image and share on social
I get butterflies before I go out to say hello at a party. Joan Rivers butterflyparty Change image and share on social
I love the Internet, and I love that you can say whatever you want. Joan Rivers internetlove Change image and share on social
I live very well, but I support a lot of relatives. Joan Rivers livelotrelative Change image and share on social
I would not want to live if I could not perform. It's in my will. I am not to be revived unless I can do an hour of stand-up. Joan Rivers hourliveperform Change image and share on social
I've never thought of it consciously... I say exactly what I think, and very often it's totally politically incorrect. I get, always, chastised for it. So it's not shtick. But I think I'm the one who says, 'The emperor has no clothes.' Joan Rivers chastiseclotheconsciously share on social
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. Joan Rivers babybathknow Change image and share on social
Your child is never not your child. You can be 90 and your mother 120, but your mother is still worried about you. Joan Rivers childmotherworry Change image and share on social
I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house. Joan Rivers charityenglishhouse Change image and share on social
I had a friend who was a plastic surgeon, so he would do little things. I never had, like, a full thing. So I would go in maybe once every two or three years, and he'd do a little here, a little there; tweak you, like you tweak your car. Then I became the plastic surgery poster girl. Joan Rivers carfriendfull share on social
