I live very well, but I support a lot of relatives. Joan Rivers livelotrelative Change image and share on social
I would not want to live if I could not perform. It's in my will. I am not to be revived unless I can do an hour of stand-up. Joan Rivers hourliveperform Change image and share on social
I've never thought of it consciously... I say exactly what I think, and very often it's totally politically incorrect. I get, always, chastised for it. So it's not shtick. But I think I'm the one who says, 'The emperor has no clothes.' Joan Rivers chastiseclotheconsciously share on social
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. Joan Rivers babybathknow Change image and share on social
Your child is never not your child. You can be 90 and your mother 120, but your mother is still worried about you. Joan Rivers childmotherworry Change image and share on social
I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house. Joan Rivers charityenglishhouse Change image and share on social
My mother loved entertaining, and I've followed suit, so we have big celebrations for New Year, Passover, Thanksgiving and birthdays. Joan Rivers bigbirthdaycelebration Change image and share on social
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television. Joan Rivers bedcountrygod Change image and share on social
I had a friend who was a plastic surgeon, so he would do little things. I never had, like, a full thing. So I would go in maybe once every two or three years, and he'd do a little here, a little there; tweak you, like you tweak your car. Then I became the plastic surgery poster girl. Joan Rivers carfriendfull share on social
I walk on a stage, and I know if it's been a good show or not. You know when it's been a good interview. No one has to tell you. You know it. You feel it. You can feel the air. You can feel everything about it when it's a good show. And you know when you've messed up. Joan Rivers airfeelgood share on social