Thank you... motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I'm waving hello to a wall robot. Jimmy Fallon endhandmachine Change image and share on social
There couldn't have been a better Hollywood ending for us. It's beyond baseball. It's rooting for your family. Jimmy Fallon baseballendfamily Change image and share on social
On 'Late Night,' it's like we're all in on the joke. That's what I wanted it to be. I'm not doing something sneaky. Inside jokes, I don't like those. We can all ride together, and everyone's on the same thing going, 'Aha, I know where you're going here.' Jimmy Fallon ahainsidejoke share on social
Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports. Jimmy Fallon baddraftfantasy Change image and share on social
I just feel like people like a little break. Especially at 12:37 at night, you go, like, 'I'm just tired of the snarky right now. I just want to lie down and have somebody make me laugh for an hour. Entertain me, and then I'm going to sleep with a smile on my face.' That's my job; that's what I do. Jimmy Fallon breakentertainface share on social
I like video games, I like tech, I like being positive. Jimmy Fallon gamepositivetech Change image and share on social
Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason. Jimmy Fallon idiotreachreason Change image and share on social
When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be. Jimmy Fallon animalballonclown Change image and share on social
The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere. Jimmy Fallon cabdriverthing Change image and share on social
Thank you... 'Real Housewives of Atlanta,' for demonstrating a universal truth: Idiots like me will always watch idiots like you fight on TV. You will forever be in my TiVo. Jimmy Fallon atlantademonstratefight Change image and share on social