Jimmy Fallon

My dad used to work at IBM, so we used to get discounts on computers and stuff, and I did have a ThinkPad.

Thank you, hard taco shells, for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plate and then breaking the moment I put something inside you. Thank you.

I had a gun and I had to run and shoot, which is not easy.

Just as young people absorb all kinds of messages from the media, young girls learn what it means to be a woman by watching the older women in their lives.

I don't see any possibility of Britain and the U.S. allowing a sovereign independent Iraq; that's almost inconceivable.

A kid is something precious, and you want to protect it and keep it fun. I'm not a dad, but I've seen people and how they behave with their kids.