If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.' Jeff Foxworthy alrightcrazydang share on social
I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away. Jeff Foxworthy daygivehour Change image and share on social
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks. Jeff Foxworthy collegedockfish Change image and share on social
It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time. Jeff Foxworthy learnmadsensation Change image and share on social
My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this. Jeff Foxworthy bigchannelclock Change image and share on social
If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy bringcopdetective Change image and share on social
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. Jeff Foxworthy fireworkgoallifetime Change image and share on social
Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it? Jeff Foxworthy peopleuglyverify Change image and share on social
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? Jeff Foxworthy babycleannauseate Change image and share on social
For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors. Jeff Foxworthy experiencefamilyfull Change image and share on social
