Top 14 Quotes by Jackie Mason

About Jackie Mason

These are some quotes by American author Jackie Mason Comedian, who was born on June 9, 1931.

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

Jackie Mason

Predictions are preposterous.

Predictions are preposterous.

Jackie Mason

My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.

My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.

Jackie Mason

I've been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win the Iowa caucus and then the whole picture changes ten minutes later. The same thing can happen again after New Hampshire. I have no idea what's going to happen with our country in the future.

Jackie Mason

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

Jackie Mason

My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies.

My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies.

Jackie Mason

I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn't know what he's talking about.

I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn't know what he's talking about.

Jackie Mason

I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.

I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.

Jackie Mason

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?

Jackie Mason

I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to.

I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to.

Jackie Mason

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