Henny Youngman

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

James Bond is quite serious about his drinks and clothing and cigarettes and food and all that sort of thing. There is nothing wry or amused about James Bond.

I'm not a very religious man, but I'm proud to be a Jew.

I knew I was doing something right because it was selling so I didn't want to interfere with it.