There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's totally insensitive! Gilbert Gottfried fineinsensitivejoke Change image and share on social
My family originally lived in Brooklyn. Our first apartment was a little place above my father and uncle's hardware store in Coney Island. Now, don't get the impression that we were surrounded by merry-go-rounds, roller coasters and Ferris wheels. Nope, this was a little side street. Gilbert Gottfried apartmentbrooklyncoaster share on social
Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny. Gilbert Gottfried funnymisfortuneperson Change image and share on social
I just don't accept midgets as human beings. There's only so much political correctness I can accept. Gilbert Gottfried acceptbeingcorrectness Change image and share on social
Comedy historians take note: this Gottfried character doesn't have the best eye for detail - and, for a Jew, he doesn't have the best eye for retail, either. Gilbert Gottfried charactercomedydetail Change image and share on social
If I could cause world peace by taking someone out to lunch, I'd go, 'Well, war isn't that terrible.' Gilbert Gottfried lunchpeacetake Change image and share on social
I think of Alan Thicke as Perry Como without the excitement. Gilbert Gottfried alancomoexcitement Change image and share on social
Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics. The club owners would say, 'What are you doing that for? Nobody knows him.' Gilbert Gottfried amusebackclub share on social
The 'Phoenix Sun' did a list of the unsexiest men in the world, and I made it to number one. I beat out Bin Laden. He's a terrorist, hasn't bathed in months. I beat him out. To me it was a great honor. Gilbert Gottfried bathebeatbin share on social
I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked. Gilbert Gottfried findkindnaked Change image and share on social