The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin acceptanswerreason Change image and share on social
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on? George Carlin boardpre Change image and share on social
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. George Carlin argumenteatfamily Change image and share on social
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin bathroomclosedeath Change image and share on social
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him. George Carlin chargefindkill Change image and share on social
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin americabearfreak Change image and share on social
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. George Carlin alzheimerantibegin Change image and share on social
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. George Carlin Change image and share on social
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. George Carlin closeexistencefire share on social
