Top 451 Funny Quotes

I was the class podiatrist. I never made it to class clown. I wasn't funny enough. I would examine feet and prescribe and ointment. It was a sad childhood.

I was the class podiatrist. I never made it to class clown. I wasn't funny enough. I would examine feet and prescribe and ointment. It was a sad childhood.

Gilbert Gottfried

There are a lot of funny people in my family. Absolutely. There were a lot of jokes growing up around the dinner table, for sure. We didn't grow up in a creative family.

There are a lot of funny people in my family. Absolutely. There were a lot of jokes growing up around the dinner table, for sure. We didn't grow up in a creative family.

Nate Corddry

Dali had a good sense of humor - obviously you could tell just looking at him; he was funny.

Dali had a good sense of humor - obviously you could tell just looking at him; he was funny.

Joe Grant

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

David Lee Roth

Bill Watterson, creator of the extremely popular 'Calvin and Hobbes,' did know when to quit and closed up shop while Calvin and his tiger were just about as fresh and funny as they had been on their first day in newspapers.

Ron Goulart

Rory Bremner I have no problem with; he is a satirist, and a very funny one, too.

Rory Bremner I have no problem with; he is a satirist, and a very funny one, too.

Richie Benaud

You know, in high school I thought Catholicism was funny and sort of ridiculous, but then I also liked it, too. Like, I definitely turned to it in times of trouble.

You know, in high school I thought Catholicism was funny and sort of ridiculous, but then I also liked it, too. Like, I definitely turned to it in times of trouble.

Julia Sweeney

Research for fiction is a funny thing: you go looking for one piece of information, and find something altogether different.

Research for fiction is a funny thing: you go looking for one piece of information, and find something altogether different.

Nell Freudenberger

Oxford is a funny place, as it is a mixture of town and gown. You have the students at the main university and at Oxford Brookes, but there is also a big working-class community.

Oxford is a funny place, as it is a mixture of town and gown. You have the students at the main university and at Oxford Brookes, but there is also a big working-class community.

Kevin Whately

I went to private school for a very long time, and we always wore uniforms. Then in third grade, I switched to a public school, so I was so excited to wear what I wanted on the first day. I remember I chose this orange hoodie with a skirt, and it's so funny when I think about it now because my style really hasn't changed that much.

Keke Palmer

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