A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.' Claude Pepper agebananabuy Change image and share on social
Funny things tend not to happen to me. I am not a natural comic. I need to think about things a lot before I can be even remotely amusing. Rowan Atkinson amusecomicfunny Change image and share on social
Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids. Garry Shandling funnyinterestkid share on social
'Jurassic Park' movies don't fit into a specific genre. They're sci-fi adventures that also have to be funny, emotional, and scary as hell. That takes a lot of construction, but it can't feel designed. Colin Trevorrow adventureconstructiondesign share on social
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. Theodore Roosevelt kickmonthpant Change image and share on social
People are often surprised that I am so upbeat. I'm always hearing, 'You're so light and funny, and your books are so dark and twisted.' There's a dichotomy. I like books that are dark and creepy. I don't control it - it's just what I gravitate toward. John Searles bookcontrolcreepy share on social
It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals. Craig Bruce achieveactivistchance Change image and share on social
The music industry is really funny, when you have a hit record, everyone knows who are you, everyone wants to do duets with you, then if you have a miss, people suffer from amnesia. Seal amnesiaduetfunny Change image and share on social
It's funny being the big news every day - and the good news every day. Charlie Adam bigdayfunny Change image and share on social
It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up. Dan Castellaneta crackcushyfunny Change image and share on social
