Top 451 Funny Quotes

The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?'

The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?'

Conan O'Brien

Paul Taylor's 'Offenbach Overtures' has lots of zip and charm, and its pair of dueling soldiers in red, who end up starry-eyed about each other while their disgusted seconds take up the quarrel, is nonstop funny.

Robert Gottlieb

Having a solo career is a funny thing.

Having a solo career is a funny thing.

Daryl Hall

It was kind of scary because working with Woody Allen becomes sort of a big deal in your mind. He directs in that Woody Allen character some of the time - he has these idiosyncrasies that are really charming and funny.

Radha Mitchell

I honestly love any good chick flick, as long as it's a good movie or pretty funny. 'Love Actually' is a no-brainer.

I honestly love any good chick flick, as long as it's a good movie or pretty funny. 'Love Actually' is a no-brainer.

Matt McGorry

It was always a fantasy of mine growing up - my favorite program was always 'Little House on the Prairie' - so I always wanted to wear those looks. When I was a child, I wouldn't let my mom put me in anything but calico dresses and now... whaddaya know, every day I'm in a calico dress, basically, so it's kind of funny.

Chloe Sevigny

I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny.

P. J. O'Rourke

Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings.

Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings.

Sparky Anderson

The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.

The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.

J. K. Rowling

There are so many funny people and so many talented people, but the one thing nobody else has is my take on the world. So, when I'm developing my show, that's going to be the focus.

There are so many funny people and so many talented people, but the one thing nobody else has is my take on the world. So, when I'm developing my show, that's going to be the focus.

Ross Mathews

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