Top 451 Funny Quotes

I played myself in an Aziz Ansari comedy, and that was funny to see how they saw me... flowing scarves and a flourish of pink! Eek!

I played myself in an Aziz Ansari comedy, and that was funny to see how they saw me... flowing scarves and a flourish of pink! Eek!

Colin Salmon

The funny thing about having all this so-called success is that behind it is a certain horrible emptiness.

The funny thing about having all this so-called success is that behind it is a certain horrible emptiness.

Sam Shepard

Old white guys can be a funny bunch, can't they? The same anti-same-sex marriage, anti-affirmative action cadre can flower into the biggest supporters of 'equality' the minute they get a whiff of minority empowerment.

John Ridley

If people want to compete for leadership of a religious group, they can compete in piety. A chilling thought. Or funny.

If people want to compete for leadership of a religious group, they can compete in piety. A chilling thought. Or funny.

Mary Douglas

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Isaac Asimov

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.

Mark Russell

I have played old ladies since I was 17 years old, and very convincingly. I've always looked funny and was too tall to play the leads and so had to play the grandmothers.

I have played old ladies since I was 17 years old, and very convincingly. I've always looked funny and was too tall to play the leads and so had to play the grandmothers.

Geraldine Page

A lot of my friends are club people. It's not me. It's funny to represent that, because it's not me. I don't fit into a gay club setting. It's just ironic that I represent that somehow.

A lot of my friends are club people. It's not me. It's funny to represent that, because it's not me. I don't fit into a gay club setting. It's just ironic that I represent that somehow.

Randy Harrison

What I fell in love with as a child was 'My Fair Lady,' 'Funny Face,' 'American in Paris,' and 'Singin' in the Rain.' Just perfect movies to me and I was dancing. I started ballet when I was three. And I fell in love with those movies and fell in love with Audrey Hepburn and Leslie Caron.

Dianna Agron

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

Josh Billings

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