If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer. Rob Corddry biteclosepeople Change image and share on social
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? Robert Benchley coatmartinispin-dry Change image and share on social
You're unlikely to discover something new without a lot of practice on old stuff, but further, you should get a heck of a lot of fun out of working out funny relations and interesting things. Richard P. Feynman discoverfunfunny Change image and share on social
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. Rodney Dangerfield familyfindlook Change image and share on social
Things can be funny when people are uneasy. It softens them up and stops them falling asleep on the sofa. I like those moments where people half-smile and half-wince. Mark Haddon asleepfallfunny Change image and share on social
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. Robert A. Heinlein pastemptationyield Change image and share on social
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Mark Twain deathexaggerategreatly Change image and share on social
We've seen some insane signs: 'Is that a loaf of bread in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?' Funny stuff along those lines. Very original. One just said, 'I will do unspeakable things.' I thought that was very interesting - and mildly terrifying! Josh Hutcherson breadfunnyhappy share on social
It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether. Johnny Vegas altogethereasylady Change image and share on social
I would love to do something like 'Beverly Hills Cop'. I'd get to be funny and cool and heroic all in the same breath. Ja Rule beverlybreathcool Change image and share on social
