Top 451 Funny Quotes

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

Steven Wright

When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It's funny how different it looks and how it's happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I'm going to get a bagel.

Steven Wright

There are a lot of funny women in my life. I never understand those movies where there's eight funny guys and two women who don't have any opinion or humour.

There are a lot of funny women in my life. I never understand those movies where there's eight funny guys and two women who don't have any opinion or humour.

Melissa McCarthy

People just don't laugh when their family is violated, and you don't shrug it off. You band together and you defend together. It's a funny, primitive instinct.

People just don't laugh when their family is violated, and you don't shrug it off. You band together and you defend together. It's a funny, primitive instinct.

Phillip Noyce

Ironing boards are a classic example of something I find horrible about modern society: the excitementation, for want of a better word, of mundane things. Funny ironing board covers - I hate them.

Ironing boards are a classic example of something I find horrible about modern society: the excitementation, for want of a better word, of mundane things. Funny ironing board covers - I hate them.

Daniel Radcliffe

When human judgment and big data intersect there are some funny things that happen.

When human judgment and big data intersect there are some funny things that happen.

Nate Silver

In addition to being an extraordinary actor, Bryan Cranston is a really generous guy and also very funny.

In addition to being an extraordinary actor, Bryan Cranston is a really generous guy and also very funny.

David Costabile

At the beginning of 'Will and Grace', I played Jack as the funny next-door-neighbor type, as we've seen in the past. And I thought that was my role.

At the beginning of 'Will and Grace', I played Jack as the funny next-door-neighbor type, as we've seen in the past. And I thought that was my role.

Sean Hayes

If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny.

If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny.

Sarah Silverman

I think maybe I became funny because as a kid, I was a Jew in a town of no Jews, and being funny just instinctively came about as a way to put people at ease around me.

I think maybe I became funny because as a kid, I was a Jew in a town of no Jews, and being funny just instinctively came about as a way to put people at ease around me.

Sarah Silverman

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