Top 451 Funny Quotes

Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day.

Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day.

Tracy Morgan

I always enjoy conversation more if there is some substance to it - which is a just incredibly hilarious thing for me to say because for many, many years I was the guy whose only contribution to any conversation was, 'There was a funny 'Simpson's' joke about that.'

Joss Whedon

Selling wine is all about sizing people up, and it takes a certain amount of chutzpah. The tableside bottle sell is a very funny thing - you take a look at the guy's blazer, what kind of shoes he's wearing, what kind of broad he's with. Is he trying to be a hero?

Joe Bastianich

My mother was funnier than anybody I ever worked for. My father was as funny as this coat. Not a laugh a minute, my father.

My mother was funnier than anybody I ever worked for. My father was as funny as this coat. Not a laugh a minute, my father.

Garry Marshall

If something strikes me as funny, I'll put it in my performance.

If something strikes me as funny, I'll put it in my performance.

Don Rickles

I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.

I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.

Demetri Martin

There have been man-on-the-street interviews for years, but insulting people is not that funny to me.

There have been man-on-the-street interviews for years, but insulting people is not that funny to me.

Billy Eichner

I think it's funny because on 'Glee Project,' there's that added pressure, but with 'Glee,' there's no element of competition. No one's trying to dance better than anyone. But there's that added pressure of, 'So many people are going to watch 'Glee' this week. If I don't nail this dance, I look like an idiot.'

Samuel Larsen

The brilliance of Adam Scott is that he is so damn funny in a straight man role.

The brilliance of Adam Scott is that he is so damn funny in a straight man role.

Rob Thomas

The music industry is really funny, when you have a hit record, everyone knows who are you, everyone wants to do duets with you, then if you have a miss, people suffer from amnesia.

The music industry is really funny, when you have a hit record, everyone knows who are you, everyone wants to do duets with you, then if you have a miss, people suffer from amnesia.

Seal

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