Top 451 Funny Quotes

Japanese people have a funny habit of abbreviating names.

Japanese people have a funny habit of abbreviating names.

Shigeru Miyamoto

I was shot from the funny gun.

I was shot from the funny gun.

Peter DeLuise

I think Irish women are strong as horses, incredibly loyal and for the most part, funny, witty, bright and optimistic in the face of devastating reality.

I think Irish women are strong as horses, incredibly loyal and for the most part, funny, witty, bright and optimistic in the face of devastating reality.

Fionnula Flanagan

Commissioners are obsessed with young people, which is funny because they don't watch telly - only old people do.

Commissioners are obsessed with young people, which is funny because they don't watch telly - only old people do.

Jennifer Saunders

I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, 'Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good.' Hopefully it balances out.

Demetri Martin

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.

Demetri Martin

So far, at least, I haven't found a way to tell my kind of stories without making them both sad and funny.

So far, at least, I haven't found a way to tell my kind of stories without making them both sad and funny.

Todd Solondz

I think when someone who's known for doing drama does a comedy but just tries to be funny, that's a mistake.

I think when someone who's known for doing drama does a comedy but just tries to be funny, that's a mistake.

Steve Carell

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film 'Funny Girl' at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.

Beth Ditto

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

Paula Poundstone

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