Top 451 Funny Quotes

Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings.

Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings.

Sparky Anderson

I know my spirit is not mean, and I have a very good spirit and a funny spirit.

I know my spirit is not mean, and I have a very good spirit and a funny spirit.

Tracy Morgan

Cool is the enemy of funny. You can't be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do that.

Cool is the enemy of funny. You can't be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do that.

Tracy Morgan

I wear black skinny-fit jeans - I can't get away from them. It's funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages, then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great.

I wear black skinny-fit jeans - I can't get away from them. It's funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages, then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great.

Shaun White

You know, it was just another presentation of my work, and a funny one, because the cards are quite different from the normal Tarot deck, no?

You know, it was just another presentation of my work, and a funny one, because the cards are quite different from the normal Tarot deck, no?

H. R. Giger

I like to tell kids that I started thinking about stories when I first started reading stuff like Dr. Seuss and 'Go, Dog. Go!,' thinking, 'Oh yeah, that's funny. I'd like to do that.' And then writing throughout school, but at the same time I was studying pre-med stuff, because my mom told me I should be a doctor.

Jon Scieszka

You can analyse a joke and say it's funny because this guy thought this was going to happen, and that happened, and it's surprising. But not all surprising things are funny.

You can analyse a joke and say it's funny because this guy thought this was going to happen, and that happened, and it's surprising. But not all surprising things are funny.

John Lloyd

One of the things I like about acting is that, in a funny way, I come back to myself.

One of the things I like about acting is that, in a funny way, I come back to myself.

Bill Murray

Women have been funny for years.

Women have been funny for years.

Beth Behrs

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Spike Milligan

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