Frank Carson

My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people.

Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?

So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.

Shaft was a pop culture figure along t he lines of, I guess, Dirty Harry - except that he wasn't as much of a racist. So yeah, I was always a fan.

Jokes are very curious things psychologically.

But I will say that living in Ireland has changed the cadence and fullness of speech, since the Irish love words and use as many of them in a sentence as possible.