Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true! Dave Barry jobminenumb Change image and share on social
I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War. Dave Barry americanapproximatelyfan Change image and share on social
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. Dave Barry clthegolfhideous Change image and share on social
To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life. Dave Barry callcomputerlife Change image and share on social
Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep. Dave Barry consumegeographicallyireland Change image and share on social
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. Dave Barry adolescentembarrassparent Change image and share on social
Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd. Dave Barry elmerfuddmenace Change image and share on social
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear. Dave Barry arisebarkcar Change image and share on social
The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter. Dave Barry closelyfollowgenerally Change image and share on social
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Dave Barry circumstancelaxativenight Change image and share on social
