Craig Ferguson

All they teach you in drama school is how to do stage fights and be a pain in rehearsals.

I'm crazy. I know I'm crazy 'cause Desmond Tutu told me, and he's very clever. He said, 'You must free yourself, be more of who you are. Be more crazy.' And I'm going to.

I try and live my life in bite-size chunks.

The 3-point shot has created a situation in the game akin to 'Lotto' fever.

You don't work on something for six years and be blind to the myriad of other approaches.

I'm the world's worst after-dinner speaker. I need pictures to respond to. I was the voice of the lottery balls once and got the sack.