Top 50 Quotes by Alexei Sayle

If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres.

People used to think I was just a shouty comic but I was doing stuff about Sartre.

I'm sure a psychologist would see something highly significant in how absent-minded I am. I mean I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached to my neck by muscles, ligaments and my esophagus.

Recently, my personal advisors have been telling me to go to America. Actually, people have been walking up to me in the street and telling me to sod off, but that's the same thing, isn't it?

I feel really ambiguous about the psychology of people trying to do good in the world.

I think that my ideas of the world are that it's random and cruel but kind of quite comical really, and therefore the humour, in a sense, springs from that.

I did six series for the BBC and that was enough. I've been writing for ten years, which is more challenging artistically.

The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off.

I'm an intellectual.

A lot of those comics can't hold down relationships and they've got no other life apart from performing. They sleep in their Jags and a lot of them can't even talk. All they can do is tell gags.