Alexei Sayle

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, may have had his charms, but he really couldn't be considered hip.

The journalists have obviously failed to capture my innate magnetism, humour and charisma, and they all need to be fired from their newspapers right away.

I'm a big buffet dude, or I'm a big cheap-food-and-order-more-when-I-need-it dude.

I don't eat cereal actually... Frosted Flakes... that's as close as I can get.

Anybody against women, against the ERA, should never be voted into office again.