Top 78 Quotes by Adam Carolla

I don't know that I appreciate things more because of how I grew up, but I am very realistic with what I expect out of people and what they expect out of me.

Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.

No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.

I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.

You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.

When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.

I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the 'Every vote counts.'

When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.

Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.