Top 78 Quotes by Adam Carolla

When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.

I don't know that I appreciate things more because of how I grew up, but I am very realistic with what I expect out of people and what they expect out of me.

If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.

I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.

You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.

No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.

When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.

I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.