Top 27 Quotes by Tim Conway

I don't watch a lot of TV anymore. A lot of it isn't the kind of thing you can feel comfortable with watching with your kids. And I still feel that way even though, now, my kids are in their 30s.

Actually, we've done 75 of these shows and every one of them has sold out. But then we buy all the tickets.

When you're small, you either are funny, or you get beat up a lot.

If I wouldn't offend my religion or God, why would I want to offend an audience because in effect those people are being watched over by the same person.

I've known Harvey for over 40 years and I worked with him on the Burnett show for 11 years. I guess you could say we're about as close as you can get to being a comedy team.

When I watch TV, I'm embarrassed by some of what's on.

I avoid all the language and nudity and violence and everything. I have enough of that at home.

My parents were very funny - they didn't know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ.

I would get ill before going onstage - something about getting in front of people, and if they don't laugh, I'm a bomb. I got over it when somebody laughed.

Harvey never had an original idea or thought in his life. I was out wandering around the country doing charity benefits, mainly, when I asked him to come along.