When you're small, you either are funny, or you get beat up a lot. Tim Conway beatfunnylot Change image and share on social
At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it. Tim Conway afraidclevelandfall Change image and share on social
I think there are a lot of things out there that are humorous that people don't realize until you actually show them what is going on. Saran Wrap for one thing. You know, you could pull enough of that out of the box and it will actually kill you. It will get a hold of you, stick to you, and choke you to death. Tim Conway boxchokedeath share on social
A lot of people like to live on laurels that happened 20 or 30 years ago, but it's nice to get awards. It's nice to be labeled and things like that, but I'm not sure everybody qualifies. Tim Conway agoawardhappen Change image and share on social
I've known Harvey for over 40 years and I worked with him on the Burnett show for 11 years. I guess you could say we're about as close as you can get to being a comedy team. Tim Conway burnettclosecomedy Change image and share on social
I have a lot of awards in my house that I have absolutely no idea what they are for. Tim Conway absolutelyawardhouse Change image and share on social
If I wouldn't offend my religion or God, why would I want to offend an audience because in effect those people are being watched over by the same person. Tim Conway audienceeffectgod Change image and share on social
My career is pretty much over. I'm out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs. Tim Conway boilcareereat Change image and share on social
If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I've had a great life. Tim Conway beatchildhoodfolk Change image and share on social
As a kid I was short and only weighed 95 pounds. And though I was active in a lot of Sports and got along with most of the guys, I think I used comedy as a defense mechanism. You know making someone laugh is a much better way to solve a problem than by using your fists. Tim Conway activecomedydefense share on social