Stand-up comedy is a sickness. Who wouldn't want a room full of people laughing and screaming at you just because of who you are? Nothing is as good, except maybe having a baby.
‐‐ Howie Mandel
Stand-up comedy is a very hard thing on the spirit. There are people who transcend it, like Jack Benny and Steve Martin, but in its essence, it's soul-destroying. It tends to turn people into control freaks.
‐‐ Mike Nichols
Stand-up comedy is all you. It's your show, it's your game. You control every aspect of it - of that experience and that expression. There's really nothing quite as satisfying.
‐‐ Bryan Callen
Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.
‐‐ Sam Kinison
Stand-up comedy is mine: it's my entity; it's my brand; I own it. I do it when I want to do it.
‐‐ Kevin Hart
Stand-up comedy is the most relaxing thing I do. If I want to unwind and de-stress, I go out and do stand-up, often several shows in a night.
‐‐ Judah Friedlander
Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You can't just be like, 'Alright, I got my hour down, people are coming to see me now. Now, I'm going to lean on the mike stand.' No, you gotta work even harder now. You got to top what you already did. Because they'll find someone else.
‐‐ Bill Burr
Stand-up comedy is tough right now. Anybody can come to a concert, tape you, and put you up on the Internet. You either fight it or embrace it.
‐‐ Jeff Dunham
Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.
‐‐ John Oliver
Stand-up comics reflect less of a visual humor and more of a commentary.
‐‐ Shel Silverstein
Stand-up don't get no respect - it's the hardest thing to do in show business. You don't have no band and there's no music.
‐‐ Tracy Morgan
Stand-up for me is just my opinions on things, so it wouldn't be as fun translated into a sketch. Nor would a sketch be as fun if it were me standing there saying it.
‐‐ John Mulaney
Stand-up, for me, is really more of an addiction, so you have to feed the beast whenever you can.
‐‐ John Oliver
Stand up for what you know is right.
‐‐ Ronald Isley
Stand up for your rights and be brave, and don't be intimidated. Read your Bible. That's really given me strength, and it will give you strength. Pray, and use God's name, Jehovah. And never tell a lie, ever.
‐‐ Margaret Keane
Stand-up has the best writers, because it's the hardest writing by a million miles.
‐‐ Norm MacDonald
Stand-up, I find it really difficult. It's not really my thing.
‐‐ Oscar Nunez
Stand-up is different from television. In stand-up, you've got to be in control.
‐‐ Bob Newhart
Stand-up is hard.
‐‐ Jerry Seinfeld
Stand-up is hard. Or to keep it at a certain level is hard: I have no writers but me.
‐‐ Jerry Seinfeld
Stand-up is kind of like my home base, and doing stand-up in New York is what I like doing most.
‐‐ Judah Friedlander
Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. There's nothing more satisfying.
‐‐ Elayne Boosler
Stand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it's not as enjoyable; that's survival.
‐‐ Demetri Martin
Stand-up is live, so I'm used to being live for most of my career. It's interesting.
‐‐ Colin Quinn
Stand-up is more of an organic process. An imagined dialogue with the audience.
‐‐ Stewart Lee
Stand-up is my baby.
‐‐ Kevin Hart
Stand-up is my favorite thing I've ever done. There's so much independence.
‐‐ Rita Rudner
Stand-up is my foundation. That's where it started at. And I love it because it's personal. It's mine. It's all me. It's my experience in life.
‐‐ Tracy Morgan
Stand-up is my heart and now I get a chance to do that and the music altogether. That's going to be great. I'm trying to be the Sammy Davis Jr. of 2005. I'm planning on going out with Cedric the Entertainer because he's got that musical bone, too.
‐‐ Jamie Foxx
Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.
‐‐ Demetri Martin
Stand-up is still my favorite, but the podcast is a close second. It's so fun, and it's given me the opportunity to have three-hour conversations with people I wouldn't have otherwise been able to talk to. When I talked to Maynard Keenan from Tool, I almost couldn't believe it was happening.
‐‐ Joe Rogan
Stand-up is successful if they laugh. It's unsuccessful if they don't laugh.
‐‐ Kumail Nanjiani
Stand-up is the foundation to my career. It's what I started out doing.
‐‐ Tracy Morgan
Stand-up is the kind of gig that'll show you where you're at.
‐‐ Dave Chappelle
Stand-up is the only thing I have complete control over. There's something to be said for that.
‐‐ Bobby Lee
Stand-up is the only thing in which you actually write it, act it and direct it simultaneously, so it's actually a great theater exercise.
‐‐ Lewis Black
Stand-up is the scariest thing - whether it's TV, movies, improv - stand-up is the worst.
‐‐ Melissa Peterman
Stand-up is what I am; stand-up is what made me.
‐‐ Bernie Mac
Stand-up keeps you alive. It is definitely the most specialized field in comedy because you need to stay sharp and well-tuned every night.
‐‐ Tommy Davidson
Stand-up keeps you on your toes because it's instant. With TV and movies, you have to wait for the numbers to come in to see what happened at the box office. With stand-up, it's right there, that night, in your face.
‐‐ Mo'Nique
Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have.
‐‐ Norman Vincent Peale
Stand-up was like being on a Barbie townhouse stage.
‐‐ Mario Cantone
Stand-up was my entree into the entertainment world. I didn't have to act out somebody else's words. I could just stand there with a microphone, and nobody would interrupt me. It's the most narcissistic thing you could probably do.
‐‐ Chelsea Handler
Stand-up will always be my first love, and it has been the primary way I've expressed myself since I was 17.
‐‐ Hari Kondabolu
Stand-up will always come first. I've been doing it for 22 years, and nothing compares to that connection you have with the audience. It's euphoric.
‐‐ Billy Gardell
Stand-ups are always good to see on YouTube. There's a guy named Mike Head who lives in Cleveland. He's great. He's an African-American stand-up.
‐‐ Allison Jones
Stand with anybody that stands right, stand with him while he is right and part with him when he goes wrong.
‐‐ Abraham Lincoln
Stand, you've been sitting much too long, there's a permanent crease in your right or wrong.
‐‐ Sly Stone
Standardization of our educational systems is apt to stamp out individualism and defeat the very ends of education by leveling the product down rather than up.
‐‐ Harvey Cushing