John Mulaney

You can't always see both sides of the story. Eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. No more equivocating. You have to commit.

I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I've always enjoyed it. There's just something really, really funny about someone tearing into me.

All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.

We did the 'MacGruber' Super Bowl spot for Pepsi, which generated some outside interest. We have a sketch where a guy blows up after 90 seconds. How are we going to make that into a movie?

A kid is something precious, and you want to protect it and keep it fun. I'm not a dad, but I've seen people and how they behave with their kids.

The course of business shapes public opinion.