I'm a postmodern commentator, and so, in a cheeky parallel to James Joyce or James Kelman, I get to places, verbally, that are a little unusual - when I talk about Jocky Wilson and end up sounding like a Jackson Pollock of the commentary box. Sid Waddell boxcheekycommentary share on social
He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave. Sid Waddell happymicrowavepenguin Change image and share on social
It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline. Sid Waddell kangaroopintrampoline Change image and share on social
Look at the man go, its like trying to stop a water-buffalo with a pea-shooter. Sid Waddell buffalomanpea Change image and share on social
Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength. Sid Waddell bodydartfit Change image and share on social
That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble! Sid Waddell onionpicklethimble Change image and share on social
As a kid, I was school swot, but I used to hang around the billiard halls, learning that Geordie sense of humour, mixing with low-lifes. They were the sort who'd pick your pocket and then say 'Here you are lad, here's tuppence, get yourself some chips'. I was a good rugby player, a good runner, so I fitted in at Cambridge quite easily. Sid Waddell billiardcambridgechip share on social
Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out. Sid Waddell giraffeleafneck Change image and share on social
You can get the dart player out of the pub, but you can't get the pub out of the dart player. Sid Waddell dartplayerpub Change image and share on social