Sid Caesar

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.

The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.

If you listen to a language for 15 minutes, you know the rhythm and song.

I don't like to get in front of people.

The thing about Paris, it's a great city for wandering around and buying shoes and nursing a cafe au lait for hours on end and pretending you're Baudelaire. But it's not a city where you can work.

Our revenge will be the laughter of our children.