Ray Romano

Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good at something.

In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.

When you go to standup, there seems to be a common denominator of some form of need or want for validation from the audience that maybe you were lacking as a kid.

I don't want to get into autobiographies; I don't want to talk about myself.

Why do men fight who were born to be brothers?

It is hardly surprising that women concentrate on the way they look instead of what is in their minds since not much has been put in their minds to begin with.