The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer. Download Download Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Rotate quotes axe cat exact
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling. Paula Poundstone deathfeltsin Change image and share on social
My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.' Paula Poundstone boatlakelearn Change image and share on social
I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family. Paula Poundstone cruelfamilyhumor Change image and share on social
Here's the thing: you're not really ready for love until you have enough self-respect that if you met your exact self, but in a guy, you would totally, completely, absolutely want to be with him. Tracy McMillan absolutelycompletelyexact Change image and share on social
In D&D, I love playing the first guy through the door - the guy with the battle-axe. 'Where are the bad guys? Just point me at 'em!' Brian Posehn axebadbattle Change image and share on social
I try not to set myself up as different or as a celebrity or special. I have a husband that can get on my nerves. I have kids that test my patience. I've got a cat I can't keep off the sofa. It's real. On a bad day, I'm reading 'Acts of Faith.' Iyanla Vanzant actbadcat share on social