The No. 1 cause of forest fires is trees. Pat Paulsen fireforesttree Change image and share on social
The last few years of my life have been a little like a long ride in a Poop de Ville with the bottom down. Pat Paulsen bottomlifelong Change image and share on social
I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man. Pat Paulsen admitcandidatecomedian share on social
I like to pour my wines for people. I watch their eyes, I can see what they'll like. Most people say they don't like dry wine because they haven't had a dry wine that's clean and fruity, instead of a big, oaky thing. Pat Paulsen bigcleaneye share on social
Deep down, I happen to be very shallow. Pat Paulsen deephappenshallow Change image and share on social
Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.' Pat Paulsen assurecomiccontinue Change image and share on social
Will I obliterate national debt? Sure, why not? Pat Paulsen debtnationalobliterate Change image and share on social
I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show. Pat Paulsen brothercallchocolate share on social
Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really; it's sort of a brisk walk. Pat Paulsen briskhouserun Change image and share on social
You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another credit check. Pat Paulsen checkcreditjoke Change image and share on social