Top 44 Quotes by Pat Paulsen

I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.

The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.

So I got into growing grapes, not realizing that there was a heck of a lot more to it than meets the eye.

Actually, my wine was served at the White House twice. Reagan must have been asleep when he ordered it.

Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'

Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar.

I think we should just tip the government if it does a good job. Fifteen percent is the standard tip, isn't it?

I want to caucus in Iowa. I'll caucus all over the state. I don't caucus in California. You don't caucus where you live. It doesn't look good.

A gun is a necessity. Who knows if you're walking down a street and you spot a moose?

Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.